You May Have Invaded Iraq If...

I've been kicking this idea around for a long time- I was inspired by those cheesy t-shirts that were (are?) popular back in the 90's- the ones with topic specific subjects like, "you may be a geologist if..."  These tag lines were usually followed by a list of obscure references to the subject title that only those in that given profession would find humorous (and the rest of us probably found, well... cheesy.).

Anyway, I started to think about compiling a list for the Iraq invasion in 2010 after I did the math and found that most of the service members who were serving in Iraq were in grade school when the 1st Marine Division invaded in 2003.  That was enough of a shock for me to consider the major changes that had occured between 2003 and 2010- hence the list.  When we invaded Iraq it was starting from scratch, operationally speaking.  Not enough food, no email- you know, the finer things in life...  After I got out in 2004 I kept in contact with a few of my buddies who re-deployed and regaled me with tales of mattresses shipped in from Kuwait, chow halls staffed with multi-national contractors, and some young upstart who went by the name of "Muqtada al Sadr".  Such was life in Iraq during "the Occupation".  Sooo...

 

 

You May Have Invaded Iraq If:

You fought the Iraqi Army, foreign jihadists, and home grown insurgents- all in the same week.

A FOB was where you dug your fighting hole that night

You didn’t shower for at least a month

You were issued the same weapons and equipment they used in the first Gulf War

You conducted vehicle patrols in soft back Humvees

The last chow hall you ate at was back in Kuwait

The Ba’ath Party was still rooting for a comeback

“Operation Iraqi Freedom” didn’t sound anything like “Iraq has WMD’s”

You were so hungry you ate EVERYTHING in your MRE- even the Charms (unless you were a POG- then you probably had food to spare)

You wore woodland camouflage MOPP suits while invading a desert environment (my favorite)

You took pictures with a disposable film camera

Geraldo Rivera was still reporting “live from Iraq”

"Sadr City" in Baghdad was still "Saddam City"

Most of the service members that served during the last year of the war (2011) were in grade school during the invasion of 2003

*If you want to add your own to the list, leave a comment- maybe I'll make a t-shirt.

 

 

Charro **Reader discretion is advised**

**My intent in posting this is not for sensationalism, but rather to show that war is not a sterile event, and that a consequence of war, even one waged on the principle of just cause, is that some people die horribly.  Never forget that.

          This picture was taken in a slum of Baghdad known as Saddam City, which was oppressed by the Saddam regime due to the large proportion of Shi'ite Muslims that inhabited Saddam City; after the invasion Shi'ite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr came to power in the region and this area was re-named "Sadr City" instead.  India Company had set up defensive positions along this stretch of road, there were other infantry units operating in the area as well, though I don't remember which ones in particular.  The burned out van in the foreground was there when we arrived, I don't know if it was hit by a missile or rocket, shot by a tank, or set alight by a machine gun.  Inside the van, laying across the driver and passenger seats was a horribly charred body, whose age and sex were unknown due to damage from the fire.
          I was escorting our company executive officer, Lt. D'Amico, to link up with a lieutenant from an adjoining unit when on the way over we stopped by the van to see the body.  As we approached the passengers side of the van a great swarm of black flies rose from the body and buzzed around us; this Iraqi had met a violent demise: the entire top of the body's head was shorn off from just above where the upper jaw would have been, the arms were gone at the shoulders, and the body's legs were snapped off mid-thigh; brown splintered bone jutted from what was left of the thighs, which resembled two large overcooked and burnt pot roasts.  There was a small dog that was using the underside of the van as a den and we assumed that the dog had found the body to be a ready source of food; some Marines were friendly to the dog if it approached but I was disgusted by the thought of the dog eating parts of a human, so if it approached my fighting hole I would throw large clumps of dirt at it to scare it away, though I suppose I could have shot it just as easily. 
        We quickly nicknamed the body "Charro" and after we returned small groups of Marines took turns walking over to gawk at Charro and to take pictures.  I didn't have to take any pictures of Charro, I've never forgotten what he looked like.

Humvee Driver

During the invasion phase of the Iraq war Marine infantry units traveled in AAV's through southern and central Iraq; after Baghdad was secured those infantry battalions were each assigned cities in which to patrol and occupy, 3/5 was assigned Diwaniyah, a city of over 400,000 residents and some 80 miles south of Baghdad.  During our occupation of Diwaniyah I was "promoted" to the position of team leader of first fireteam, second squad, third platoon; I was a private first class at the time and was responsible for three other Marines, I was also chosen to be one of the designated Humvee drivers within our platoon.

        The majority of our patrols in Diwaniyah were squad-sized patrols conducted on foot through different neighborhoods, both during the day (really hot!) and at night (really quiet!) with two Humvees for our three fireteams; in addition to being 1st fireteam leader I also drove one of the Humvees on our patrols with my fireteam riding along with me.  Our squad would drive to a particular area and dismount, then patrol on foot in a tactical formation while I and the other Humvee would creep along slowly at the middle and rear of the formation. 

        Driving the Humvee had some benefits, the most obvious being that I got to ride instead of walk which was especially nice on a hot daytime patrol; another perk was the "freedom of expression while driving" that we exercised as liberators of Iraq: imagine twelve young Marines riding high on the adrenaline of invading a foreign country, all either in their teens or early twenties, with two beastly Humvees to play with.  We were certainly not "driving Miss Daisy" as we drove throughout the city; there was one instance where we actually topped out the speedometer at 55 mph on a highway leading out of the city, which is a big deal for an old humvee.  I witnessed one driver slam on the brakes and execute a "J-turn" on a side street, much to the disapproval of one Iraqi woman in her black burqua, who quickly walked away from the street, turning back to stare in searing indignation.  Two sergeants, who shall remain anonymous, got drunk on bootleg liquor purchased from an Iraqi peddler and attempted to "off-road" their Humvee and only succeeded in wrapping a long, very unyielding piece of rebar around the rear axle. 

        Aside from the "freedom of expression" that we exercised from time to time, we used the Humvees very effectively in Diwaniyah.  Humvees were to Iraq what helicopters were to Vietnam: tough, durable, and seemingly everywhere. 

View from the driver's seat

This small child really stuck out to me, taken on patrol through a slum of Diwaniyah

 On patrol through a business district, note the woman in a burqua at the far right of this photo.

Driving on the outskirts of Diwaniyah

 One of the many precocious Iraqi children that followed our Humvees while we were on patrol, they often asked for chocolate or cigarettes

Food Part 1

This is one of the items I carried in the inside pocket of my flak vest in the off chance that a sympathetic Iraqi would want to sell me a chicken.  During the initial weeks of the invasion our infantry units moved so fast that the supply convoys carrying our chow and water were often left behind; unfortunately that meant that we usually ate once a day, and sometimes even had to split MRE's with our fellow Marines.  A combination of desert heat, carrying a full combat load, little sleep, and poor nutrition is one of the best diet weight loss plans I know of!  I remember one day Doc Lowry and I were sitting in out fighting hole and we decided to split one of our precious MRE's.  It was one of the hamburger (and I use that term loosely) ones so along with half a patty and a piece of "Russian bread" (as I always called it) we also got eight combo pretzels each.  I'll never forget that; in fact, at times it got so bad that we even ate the Charms candy that came in the condiment packet- that's when you know you're starving!  Anyway, I drew this diagram on the back of an MRE main meal box, writing right to left, as that is how Arabic is read. 

Red Bull

Sometimes you see things in a combat zone you don't ever see in war movies...

I remember one night in particular.   We were moving up Highway 1 (I think) in our AAV's and I was standing in the open hatch of the rear of the AAV; it afforded the opportunity to stretch my legs and watch all the commotion that ensued as the many different Marine units made their way north towards Baghdad.

As we sped by one of the dozens of settlements that border the main highways I noticed a group of Iraqi civilians gathered near a large blackened cow carcass lying in front of one of their businesses.  What was surreal was that the cow had somehow been partially gutted and flames were licking their way through the empty body cavity of the cow and up between the ribs and pieces of skin, like a macabre paper lantern.  We had seen burnt bodies on the side of the road, burnt vehicles and buildings, but that was the first burnt cow I saw, particularly the first one that looked like it got hit by a TOW missile.  I don't know how the cow died, or how it caught on fire, but briefly witnessing that scene caused me to realize in a powerful way that there was nothing exempt from being destroyed during the invasion campaign.   

Fear of Dying

There were only two things I was afraid of during my tour in Iraq: accidentally getting blown up by a coalition aircraft (it happened several times during the first Gulf War), and getting shot by a sniper while going to and from the head (outhouse).

Doc Lowry

This is a picture of one of my closest friends in Iraq, Nick Lowry, also known affectionately as "Doc".  It was taken on top of the Right Side Bank in Diwaniyah, about a mile or so from Camp Got Some.  He was 2nd squads Corpsman and joined us when we arrived in Kuwait before the invasion.  Like all Marines in a small unit setting, we were initially skeptical about this outsider as he was yet unproven to be able to "suck it up" and hang with us grunts in the field.  The most common problem was when our unit would get a Corpsman from a Navy hosptial or from the Battalion Aid Station who had spent too much time "in the rear" and not in the field.  This usually resulted in them falling out on long humps or foot patrols, especially if they were carrying packs.  

Doc Lowry soon proved to be more than able to hang with 2nd squad.  Friendly and soft spoken, Doc won my respect as a friend after one of our many training evolutions in Kuwait.  Our squad had just finished practicing immediate action drills; rushing towards the enemy, gettind down in the prone, firing, getting up, sprinting, getting in the prone, firing, getting up- repeating the process until the threat was eliminated...  Doc Lowry was rejoining us as we conducted our post training brief; he was no doubt as tired as the rest of us and could have walked to our group but instead Doc was in a full out sprint, wearing combat gear and carrying his 1st aid pack which weighed at least 40 lbs.  We all watched Doc as he sprinted several hundred meters towards us and finally stopped at our little huddle, panting for breath with a wide grin on his face.  This Doc had what it took. 

Doc further proved himself during our subsequent tour in Iraq: fighting in our first ambush against the Iraqi army, lending me his M-16 when my SAW jammed in the middle of a firefight against a unit of foreign jihad fighters from Jordan, Syria, and Saudi Arabia, as well as Doc conducting countless patrols with 2nd squad throughout Diwaniyah.